Ever wonder why – week 4

Joke: A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.
When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go. . .what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

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How many of you had or currently have a bad habit, you know that thing you wished you didn’t do and you’ve tried to break, but just can’t seem to be able to?

How many of you at some point even prayed something like, “God, would you please help me stop, help this thing go away. I really don’t like that I’m doing what I’m doing.”

Maybe you even tried to negotiate with God, God if you will, I won’t ever again, please just help me stop. I don’t want to do this anymore.

You prayed, maybe even made a promise, and you stopped that thing, at least for a little while, but then something happened and you fell back into the very same thing you didn’t want to do.

You made a promise like God if you will help me, I promise I won’t ever curse and lose my temper ever again.

And you started well, you drove all the way here to the church, sat through service, worshipped and you didn’t curse, didn’t lose your temper, until you were driving home and someone cut you off.

And after words you felt so discouraged. You got home started scrolling through social media and that made you feel worse.

So you lost your temper and cursed again.

You want change, you try to change. You ask God to help you change, but. . .

Here we are in our series called ever wonder why. In our first week we looked at ever wonder why God let that happen? Whatever that thing may be. In our second week we looked at ever wonder why God didn’t answer your prayer. And our last time together we talked about ever wonder why we struggle to trust God? Today I want to talk about ever wonder why you can’t stop?
Is there something in your life that you would like to stop doing, but you have difficulty doing so?

It may be a not so good habit, maybe its simply a phrase that you find yourself saying over and over. Maybe it’s too much television, Facebook, or game apps, it can be a number of things.

Why is it that whenever you want to stop something, you want to change a behavior, you seem to struggle to do it.

I think many people have the right intentions, but the wrong strategy.

Your trying to change, and listen some of those changes are good, maybe even necessary, but for some people they are trying to change in the wrong way.

Let me start by saying my message today will not be exhaustive on this thought. People have written books on reasons why people keep doing what their doing. But I do want to spend some time giving you a few things I think cause us to struggle to change.

Let me begin today by saying I think there are multiple factors working against us, that keep us stuck in the cycle of change.

And listen I’ve heard some of the reasoning, people say I was born this way, or can a leopard change it’s spots, but that’s not the focus of this message.

Instead I want to share a few of the factors and then get to what I believe is ultimately is the root cause of why we seem to not be able to change.

So, first the factors. Factor number one is the practical reasons that make it difficult for us to change.

Let me try to explain it this way, why do so many of us eat the wrong food? The practical reason is simply because the wrong food is available to us. McDonalds has nearly 40,000 locations in over 100 countries. And just in case your not sure Mickey’s probable isn’t the healthiest of foods. And we have 5 right here in Holland.

Let me just say this I’m not saying never eat there I’m just saying for many of us, not everything we eat is on the healthy side.

Maybe all you eat is salads and stuff like that but I don’t the other stuff is available to me and I will often choose the other stuff.

I’m more soda then water. So that’s a practical reason.

Why is it you oversleep many a morning. Maybe its because you binge watch your favorite show until the wee hours of the morning, get carried away on your social media account swiping through all the posts until 1am, forget to set the alarm and so your body says I’m not ready to get up.

Those are a couple practical reasons why. I would almost say they are often even self-inflicted reasons.

So, we have some practical reasons, but there may also be some emotional reasons as well.

There are a lot of people including those in the Body of Christ that have some emotional baggage that holds them back. And we try to cope with, or resolve those issues that caused us to carry it, often times in an unhealthy way.

Hebrews 12:1 (TPT): As for us, we have all of these great witnesses who encircle us like clouds. So we must let go of every wound that has pierced us and the sin we so easily fall into. Then we will be able to run life’s marathon race with passion and determination, for the path has been already marked out before us.

God desires us to cast all out cares upon Him, let Him help us drop the baggage, but so many times we think we can handle it, do we try and walk through it with Him or anyone else.

So, there are practical reasons, emotional wounds, and another factor could be relational.

It’s difficult to get healthy when all you are is surrounded by unhealthy and negative people.

Listen if you struggle with drinking, it’s probably not wise to hang out with people that love to hang out at the bar.

Look what Paul told the church at Corinth. . .

1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV): Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

Truth is it’s almost impossible to live right when you’re consistently surrounded by the people who aren’t.

And hear this church, I’m not saying don’t have any friends that aren’t followers of Jesus. Jesus hung out with sinners and the like. That’s how we can impact the culture. But He also had men and women that He hung out with as well that wanted to follow Him, learn from Him, emulate and be like Him.

That’s one reason why it is so important to gather together in a community of believers like this.

So, why don’t we change?

When we talk about change, there’s a lot of factors involved and one Sunday afternoon service just doesn’t allow us the time to get a concise answer to every possible scenario.

There could be practical, emotional, or relational factors that hinder are change, but I believe at the heart of the issue, the root cause of much of are struggle to change is almost every time a spiritual challenge.

At the heart of why most people can’t change, the root issue is often a spiritual issue.

And what happens is many people, whether they’re a Christian or not is that they’re trying to meet a spiritual need with something besides God.

We try and fill the void, the emptiness, that longing with things, rather than God.

They’re looking for something to meet that need, to fill that void with something besides God and that has the potential to lead us into a destructive lifestyle.

And that is what I want to focus on today. I want to share, ever wonder why we can’t change using the spiritual element of change today.

Why can’t you change?

For many people, the reason you can’t change is because you’re focusing on religion, instead of the relationship and in so doing your forgetting the power of grace.

Religion will put you in bondage, that which Jesus came to set us free from.

But your a pastor, you must be religious. Church this may shock you, but I try to avoid being religious.

In today’s culture when people think of a religious person, they will usually think of that Christian person that may or may not have been the best representative of Jesus.

The word religion comes from a Latin word meaning to “bind fast”

Let that soak in for a minute. . .Religion can bind fast your joy, bind fast your peace, bind fast. . .

Jesus said it this way.

Luke 11:46 (TPT): Jesus responded, “Yes, and you are also hopeless frauds, you experts of the law! For you crush people beneath the burden of obeying impossible religious regulations, yet you would never even think of doing them yourselves. What hypocrites!

613. . .that’s the number of laws they wanted to hold you to. . .and there are churches that will tell you unless you do this and so religion is bond fast the very ones we are called to reach,

So, if you’re not a church person and you say, I don’t like religion, I say, I agree.

See, one definition of what religion is. . .religion is our attempt to earn God’s approval by following all the rules.

It’s our attempt to please God, to earn his love by following and obeying the law.

That’s what Jesus was talking about in Luke 11.

So, one reason you can’t change is that you’re trying to change by religion and not by grace.

In fact, let me show you a powerful verse about this idea that you may not even know. It’s probably not one you have memorized, put on that index card and attached to your refrigerator.

This verse speaks directly to how God helps us change.

It’s found in the book of Titus.

Titus is only 3 chapters it’s found right after 2 Timothy. . .

Titus 2:11 (NIV): For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.

What appeared? Grace. . .

Let me pause here for just a moment and say, that is good news.

The grace of God offer’s salvation to all people.

You’re not made right with God by your works, by your religious efforts, by your best attempt, what made you right with God was the grace of God through faith, our sins are forgiven by grace, we live and move and have our being by grace.

God loves us because of his grace. We are saved by His grace.

No matter how bad you are, or have been. It doesn’t matter how many bad things you’ve done, or how many bad thoughts you’ve had, God’s grace is available to you. And in case your wondering we all need His grace.

What is grace? The Greek word that’s translated as grace is the word Charis.

And that word Charis, it means the unmerited, goodwill and favor of God?

It’s unearned. It’s God’s favor. You don’t deserve it, we deserved the punishment Jesus took, but God’s grace. . .

And the good news is, it’s a gift.

You can never be good enough to earn it. You can’t do enough good works to deserve it. It is a gift, we are saved by this gift called grace.

And as believers many of us have heard that and we believe that here (point to head) but it needs to in here (point to heart)

For so many Christians they seem to think, okay, I’m saved by grace and God forgives me by grave, but now, it’s all on me. It’s my turn to get it done. Now, I’ve got to try hard. I’ve got to check the boxes, follow the rules, put on the Christian face.

So, when we are asked what are you doing? I’m trying to be good. What are you doing? Trying not to be mad.

But church, it’s the grace of God that changes us. Not legalism, not religion, not denominations, not self-will. Grace!
And we need to understand that the grace that forgives you is also the grace that transforms you.

Let me show you the power of God’s grace in this verse one more time.

Why can’t you change?

Watch what scripture says. . .

Titus 2:11–14 (NIV): For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

Grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness. It teaches us to say no to worldly passions. It teaches us to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age.

What does it do? It teaches us to say no to something that’s displeasing to God. It teaches us to say no and deny our worldly passions. It teaches us to live a self-controlled, upright, and godly life.

What is the it that teaches us to live a life that glorifies God?

Let me tell you what it’s not. It’s not the rules, it’s not the law, it’s not religion, it’s not you trying to do the right thing before an angry God that’s watching and waiting for you to mess up.

What it is is, it’s the grace of God. It’s the grace of God that teaches us to say no to that which is wrong, harmful, or may I just be honest sinful.

What enables you to say no is not your grit, it’s God’s grace, it’s not your strength, but it’s God’s spirit.

The challenge is we’re often focusing on the wrong thing.

Why can’t I change?

Because your to focused on religion, forgetting that He want’s a relationship, and in so doing your forgetting the power of God’s grace.

So, why have I not been able to overcome this thing that continues to haunt me? That thing I’m struggling with? Why can’t I change?

Let me spend the rest of our time together talking about how God actually changes us by his grace.

I want to show you the contrast between religion and grace, and we’re going to see how God uses his grace to change us and conform us to the image of Jesus.

Let’s start with the focus.

What is the focus of religion?

The focus of religion is always on the outward. It’s what other people see. Outwardly, I need to wear the wear the right thing. I’m going to stop smoking, or I’m not going to drink anymore, or I’m not going to be addicted.

Whatever it is, it’s with the outside, it’s what other people see?
The focus of religion is always outward.

And Jesus talked about how dangerous and ineffective that kind of life is.

He said in Matthew 23 verse 25.

Matthew 23:25 (NIV): 25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.

If all you’re trying to do is get the outside looking good, you’re just like actors in a play.

He went on to say, “You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they’re full of greed and self indulgence.

He then continues and He says blind pharisee, you wanna bring about real change? Here’s what you do.

Matthew 23:26 (NIV): Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

So, what is the problem? Why can’t we change?

For some of us, it’s the spirit of religion. Religion focuses on the outward, but the power of grace is always inward.

Religion focuses on what other people see. Grace works inside of us.

And guess what when your heart is transformed much of the outward that needs to change, changes because of your intimacy with God. You now don’t do something out if compulsion but out of devotion.

Look what Paul said in Ephesians 3 verse16, this was actually a prayer.

Ephesians 3:16 (NLT): 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.

See religion tells you it’s a duty, but God’s grace because of all He’s done, because His grace is sufficient you decide to live right out of devotion because on the inside of us our heart has been transformed and we are becoming more and more like Him.

And you begin to change, and you begin to love what God loves, hate what God hates.

Wait pastor God is love, you told us that. What does God hate.

Proverbs 6:16–19 (NIV): There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 19 a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

So, because I want to love what God loves and hate what God hates. I want to be a man of integrity, of purity, of faith, and of love.

And I’m will not compromise His Word, to a woke culture.

Let me say that again. . .I’m will not compromise His Word, to a woke culture.
I digress. . .Let me get back to our religion and grace contrast. . .

Truth is church, if you simply change your behavior, but don’t change your heart the behavior will return.

And that’s why so many people don’t change, because real and lasting change is a reflection of God’s grace on the inside.

The focus of religion is outward. It’s what other people see, or probably more true what we show them. That’s hypocrisy.

But the focus of grace is inward. It’s what the work of the spirit of God is doing inside of us as we pursue God with all of our hearts, soul, mind, and strength.

Here’s the difference. . .

What does religion say versus what is grace say? Religion says, try harder. Grace says, trust more.

In other words, I’m not trying in my power, but I’m relying on God’s power.

Look how the Apostle Paul said it. . .I talked about this a few weeks ago. Paul prayed three times for God to take what he called a thorn in his flesh away and this is how God responded. . .

2 Corinthians 12:9–10 (TPT): But he answered me, “My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.” So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me. 10 So I’m not defeated by my weakness, but delighted! For when I feel my weakness and endure mistreatment—when I’m surrounded with troubles on every side and face persecution because of my love for Christ—I am made yet stronger. For my weakness becomes a portal to God’s power.

You need, I need the grace of God. And God says for my power is made perfect in weakness.

And that’s when Paul got it. He said, I get it. I’m not strong when I’m strong, but when I’m weak and God’s grace is perfected in me, that’s when God is strong through me, that’s how I actually change. I’m not trying harder, but I’m trusting more.

Now listen church I’m not saying we don’t do things the Scripture tells us that He has called us on purpose for a purpose and there are good works that God has called us to accomplish. But we don’t work for His approval, we are laboring together with His spirit from His approval

And here’s where I hope it all comes together. When you really trust God’s grace, trust that he loves you and you’re right with him, not by what you do or don’t do, but it’s his unmerited favor and love that he gives to you. And when you trust that he always loves you, and that his grace sustains you, it’s from that point that you can be honest.

Honest with whatever it is, scrolling for hours, looking at stuff that just makes you more depressed. Why can’t I stop looking at those lustful images whatever it is.

Why can’t you stop, as I mentioned at the beginning I can’t say this is it for every situation, but what I can say is that the root problem is probably spiritual in someway.

In most cases, you’re probably trying to live by religious toxin’s instead of being transformed by the grace of God and at some deeper level, you’re trying so hard to find something other than God to ease the pain?

Because deep down, there’s very likely a spiritual issue where you really aren’t trusting God and you’re feeling alone, depressed or left out, simply empty on the inside, or maybe you feel overwhelmed with anxiety or frustration or anger.

And here at its root is so often the problem, you’re trying to meet a need or relieve a hurt with something besides God’s grace.

So what do you do when you try to stop and the problem doesn’t go away or even gets worse? And that voice inside of you says, “Do better, do better, do better.”

Anytime you hear that, that’s not God’s grace, you’re focusing on religion and you’re forgetting the power of God’s grace.

We’re not here to try harder, we’re here to trust Him more.

Let me try to wrap this up today. But I need to say this because I think grace has been taken advantage of and mis-handled by some.

I told you grace empowers us to live a God honoring life, but I have also heard the message of His grace sound like a license to live and do as you please. And church hear this that is not what grace should do.

Paul said it this way. . .

Romans 6:1–4 (NLT): Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? 2 Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? 3 Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? 4 For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.

God still wants holiness, and repentance, He still wants us to walk right, live right, forgive and pray for our enemies not gossip about them. Amen.

And church we need to put our trust and our faith, not in our grit, but in God’s grace.

I’m trying to close but I need to share a little more good news. . .

Romans 5:20 (NLT): God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant.

That is really good news. . .

Wherever there’s more sin, there’s more grace, wherever there’s more temptation, there’s more grace to overcome it, wherever there’s more shame, there’s more grace, wherever there’s more loneliness, or more brokenness, there is more of God’s grace.

And the good news is his grace is always enough and exactly what you need.

And whenever you’re tempted, the Bible says, God is always faithful and he will always provide for you a way out. There’s always a way out. Our problem is often times we din’t take the way out.

His grace increases all the more. And so you don’t change by trying harder. You change by trusting more.
You don’t change by focusing on what the outside behavior is, that will change when the heart begins to love what He loves, and hate what He hates. You let the grace of God do something only the grace of God can do and change you from the inside out.

And He will.

God’s grace doesn’t just forgive you from sin. Grace also frees you from sin.

His grace is sufficient, more than enough, but it’s not a license to do what ever your flesh thinks is best to do. The grace of God changes us into His image. It helps us as John the Baptist said, I must decrease, so that He can increase.