The Enemy Within – Control

Joke:  Three friends are sitting in a bar after a day of work, discussing their lives when the topic of conversation turns to how often they fight with their wives.

We don’t fight very often the first guy says, “but when we do I just put my foot down and tell her what’s what, and there’s no more arguing after that. Then I get the TV to myself all night.”

The second guy says, “Well we too don’t fight too often but when we do I just keep repeating my point until she sees the light. Then she always makes my favorite dinner and gives me a back rub.”

The third guy says, “Every time we argue, my wife is always on her hands and knees by the end of it.”

The other two look at him, impressed. “Well, then what happens?” The second one asks.

“Well,” he replies, then she says “Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.”

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 The enemy within – Week 4 Control

We are in week number four of a series called “The enemy Within,” and we are going to be looking at issues of control.

According to the Cambridge English Dictionary the definition of control is to order, limit, or rule something, or rule someone’s action or behavior.

So, here’s a question, how many of you know someone that struggles with the issue of control.   I think we all know people like that, don’t we?

Now let me make it more personal,  are you the control freak?

What is a control freak?

In the style of Jeff Foxworthy. . .

If you think your not bossy, but you just know what you’re doing.   You might be a control freak.

If everything has to be the way you like it.   You might be a control freak.

If whenever someone asks you a question and you respond with ya but. . .You might be a control freak.

If you just assume others are just not as smart as you when they think differently than you.  You might be a control freak.

If you micromanage to make sure that everything is done right.  You might be a control freak.

And the list could go on and on.

But seriously, how many of you have ever been frustrated  when your spouse made you late?  Truth is, we try to control our kids, our spouse, and we have even been known to try and control God’s plan for our life.

And the problem is for many of us, is we don’t always recognize it. We will just mask over it and say things like, Well, it’s just a personality thing, that’s just how I’m wired.  It’s not control, it’s organization.

And the truth is like envy, and like pride if we pull the layers back, if we take off the masks I believe most of all us deals with the enemy within of control.

So, today we are going to look at the confessions of a control freak.

And I’m going to pick up on a story I used last week and look at King David’s desire to control.

Last week I used the story in regards to pride.  However, today I want to hit it from a completely different angle and see what an obsessive, compulsive control freak King David was.

If you remember the story.  King David whom God put in that position.  God called him to be the next king.  And one day, he sends all of his armies out into the hills and valleys to go to battle.

David is at home with all of the women of Israel, all by himself.

And if you remember from last week Scripture said,

In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David remained in Jerusalem.

And so, when David wasn’t where he was supposed to be he walks out on to his balcony one morning maybe coffee in hand, looks out but instead of seeing the beautiful sun rise he sees this beautiful women.

After spending way to much time with his eyes glued on her, what does he do?

He grabs the secret service, points her out and tells him,   Go, and bring her back to me.

And David meets Bathsheba.

He puts on some Kenny G, sets out a couple glasses of wine, candles on the table, they talk, they dance, then something else happens.

And after the evening of romance he sends her back home not sure if he will ever see her again.

Then awhile later he’s checking on his email and he sees an email flagged highly important from hotchick@balcony.com

He goes to his inbox, opens it up to read, “Hey King, thanks for the other night, you know what happened never should have happened.  And well, here’s the thing not only did it happen but now I’m expecting a child.   What are we going to do?

Signed  Bathsheba

And King David, the man after God’s own heart, whom God specifically and strategically put him in the position of King, has  blown it big time.

What does he do?   He’s freaking out.  “I’m going to get caught.  What’s going to happen?”

So, he sends an email off to Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband.

He’s out on the battlefield, where King David should have been.

Uriah sees the email from King David and begins reading it. . .

Uriah,  I need you to come back home immediately , we need to talk.

So, Uriah talks to the commanding officer tells him about the message jumps in the jeep and heads back towards home.

When he gets to the palace King David begins telling him how great of a job he was doing, how great a soldier he is, asks him how he’s holding up on the battlefield.  Then he tells him, you know you have been so busy in battle you deserve a break.  Why don’t you take a couple days off, go have a meal with your wife, I’m sure she’s missing you.   Go and spend time with her.

All David is doing is trying to cover up what he did.

But what does Uriah do?

2 Samuel 11:9 (NLT) – But Uriah didn’t go home. He slept that night at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard.

David gets that news and gets even more freaked out verse 10. . .

2 Samuel 11:10  (NLT) – When David heard that Uriah had not gone home, he summoned him and asked, “What’s the matter? Why didn’t you go home last night after being away for so long?”

You can almost hear the panic in the Kings voice, and what was Uriah’s response?

2 Samuel 11:11 (NLT) – Uriah replied, “The Ark and the armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents,* and Joab and my master’s men are camping in the open fields. How could I go home to wine and dine and sleep with my wife? I swear that I would never do such a thing.”

So, you’ve got Uriah, a man of character, and integrity, he looked King David in the eye, said, “I’m loyal to you. I will not do it.”

David’s freaking out.

Time for plan B

2 Samuel 11:12–13 (NLT) – 12 “Well, stay here today,” David told him, “and tomorrow you may return to the army.” So Uriah stayed in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 Then David invited him to dinner and got him drunk. But even then he couldn’t get Uriah to go home to his wife. Again he slept at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard.

Plan A didn’t work if all else fails grab a case of Coors and get the brother drunk.  And that’s when David thinks he can manipulate and control him.   Get Uriah lit send him home where he can as the song says, make a little love, do a little dance, get down tonight.

Then David will be all good.  It will be all over.

And that’s exactly what happens and David is relieved. . .is that it?  No actually Scripture tells us, he again slept at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard.

He didn’t  go home.  David is trying to control it and he’s freaking out.

Plan A didn’t work;  plan  B didn’t work; what’s  next?

2 Samuel 11:14–15, (NLT) – So the next morning David wrote a letter to Joab and gave it to Uriah to deliver. 15 The letter instructed Joab, “Station Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed.”

Control freak  … to the point of murder.

And so I’m reading this story and I have to ask myself, honestly, it’s probably a question for all of us.  The question is,  “What is the root cause of our control?”

And if you are taking notes, the answer is, it’s fear.

Fear causes us to control. David was scared.  He was afraid that he was going to get caught.  He was afraid that he was going to disappoint God.  He was afraid that his shame and everything that he had done was going to be broadcast and on the tabloids, all over the place so everybody could see it.  He was afraid that he was going to  be  labeled as an executioner and an adulterer, and  he was doing everything to manipulate and control the situation because he was full of fear.

And King David wrote this after all this had happened. He writes in Psalm 55. . .

Psalm 55:5  (ESV) – Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me.

And, we may have people here right now, or listening online and you are absolutely seized with fear.

Fearful that you are going to be found out, fearful of what the doctor’s going to say, fearful that a relationship is not going to make it, fearful that your kids are not headed in the right direction, and so what do we do?

We try to control it.

We think,  “I can fix it.  I can get it there.  I can get it where it needs to be if I just try harder.”

And here’s the thing church, you can go to Barnes and Noble or Amazon.com and you will see hundreds if not thousands of books on how to control.

There are books on how to control your finances, how to control the bugs in your house, how to control the weeds in your yard, how to control your mind, how to control your spouse’s mind.

Guys get off the phone this isn’t the time to order that one.  Honestly, if I where you I wouldn’t look for that one at all.

But you can find out how to control everything, because we live in a nation that’s obsessed with control, I want to control everything and I want to be in charge.

So, what we are going to do today, is we are going to go in the other direction.

The world says control.  But what I want to leave you with today is, if you’re taking notes, is how to lose control.

How to absolutely let go and not control the situation or the people in your lives any longer.

The first thing we are going to talk about.    If you want to lose  control,  is you have to surrender your fear. Surrender it.

For some of you, you are dealing with fear of rejection.  You are afraid that you are going to be rejected by your boss, your friends, maybe even your dad.

And when you have that fear what you do is you tend to exaggerate the details to your boss or others to control their opinion of you.

You strife to get your father’s approval.

You just have an appetite to get dad to pat you on the back, and so you work late hours, you buy things that you can’t afford, all to get the approval of others to control their opinion of you.

There’s others of you,  that deal with the fear of failure.  You are absolutely scared to death of failing financially, and so you’ve created a budget that Elon Musk couldn’t even live by.

Still others of you that are afraid of being single for the rest of your life, and so you are trying to control people around you.

Others of you are afraid of failing as a parent, and so you manipulate and you control every decision that your children make, the places they go, what time they have to be in, where are you going, who are you going to be with, and it goes on and on and on and you chalk yourself up as being a great parent.

And, you probably are, and some of those aren’t bad, but honestly, so many people parent out of the fear of failing as a parent.

Then, there are others that deal with the fear of the unknown.

Always asking yourself the question, “Am I going to get caught?”

And so you manipulate and control as King David did.

And there our others of you who are here, God has called you to something.  And instead of doing that thing you are trying to control your life and are not partnering with the Holy Spirit to do what He has asked you to do simply because of fear.  It’s time to surrender the fear.

Isaiah 41:10, (NIV) – So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

So do not fear.   And what I find so interesting about this phrase do not fear is that, that phrase or something like it is mentioned 365 times in Scripture.  I don’t know maybe God is letting us in on a little secret.

The other interesting thing I don’t want you to miss is that when we are told do not fear, it’s a command.   It’s a non-negotiable.

It’s the Spirit of God speaking through His Word into your lives, and we have people right now you’ve  got  to  get  this message, and the message is “Do not fear.”

Do not fear.  But my kids are. . .Do not fear.

But you don’t know my financial situation. . .Do not fear.

But the business deal is about to go. . .Do not fear.

Why should we not fear?  It says, “For I am with you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10, (NIV) – So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

We forget that at that moment, when we asked Jesus to come into our life, something supernatural happened.  We were transformed, made new.   The Spirit of God invaded our life.  We’ll never be the same, and when you begin to fear, you’ve got the Spirit of God that resides deep in the core of who you are to help you get that fear out.

2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV) – For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

If you want to lose control of your life, if you want to lose control, surrender your fear.

So, my question for you is, “What fear do you have that needs to be surrendered?”

Back to our story, King David is over here, he is an absolute lunatic right now.    And then, you’ve got this guy named Nathan, who’s a prophet.   God’s hanging out with him and talking to him one day.  He says, “Nathan, here’s what I need you to do.   David’s blown it big time.   And he’s being control freak. Trying to control people and a situation.   I need you to go have a heart to heart with the King.

And I don’t know but I’m thinking about Nathan at this point.  He’s probably thinking, “Okay, God.  King David is on the verge of loosing it.  He is a murderer.  He is a control freak.  He is doing absolutely everything in his power to control this, and you want me to step into the king’s chambers and say, ‘Hey, brother, you’ve got this in your life and you need to fix it.”

And what I love about Nathan was, he didn’t run from God.  He didn’t say, “I’m done.  This job doesn’t pay enough.  God, I’m finished, there’s no way.  Find someone else.”

He doesn’t sit there and argue with Him, say, “God, have you lost Your mind?  Do you understand what it is You are asking me to do?”

No, do you know what Nathan does? Nathan surrenders the details to God – he surrenders all the details and does exactly what it is that God asks him to do.

If you want to lose control in your life, point number two is, if your taking notes, is surrender the details.

Proverbs 3:5–6 (NIV) – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Trust the Lord with the details.  He is the object of our trust.  It is Him that we trust.  It is not if the doctor’s report comes out okay.   It is not if our kids end up okay.

The question is, “Are you going to trust God because He is God?  Or are you only going to trust Him if He gives you the answer that you want?”

If you  truly  want  to  lose  control  in  your  life,  surrender  all  of the  details, everything to Him.  Why?  Why should we surrender the details to God?

Psalm 91:1 (NIV) – Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

That  word  almighty,   is  el-elyon,  which  means sovereign God.

In our language, it’s talking about the God who is in control.  God is not asleep at the wheel.  He didn’t fall asleep one day, and all of a sudden you woke up, and you’ve got marriage problems.  God is absolutely in control of everything.  We trust Him with the details because He is in control.  He is the God who is in control of the visible.  He is in control of your vacation at the beach.   He is in control of your cancer.   He  is  in control of your finances, he is in control of your kids.

He is also in control of the invisible, the things that we can’t see.  He’s in control when you are going to lose your job a year down the road.

And so, if we truly understand that He is in control of the things of today and the things that have not happened yet, and we surrender all the details to Him, we will truly begin to be able to lose control of our lives, because our understanding is not what happens to us, but it is understanding that it is Him that is in control.

So if you want to lose control, surrender the details to Him.

The third thing, if you are taking notes.  If you want to lose control, surrender your life. Surrender your life to Him.

So, Nathan goes to confront King David, I can only imagine he’s a bit scared as he walks into the king’s chambers, and as he tells the story of the man that took from the poor even as he had plenty as I said last week, puts his finger on King David’s life, and says autaeesh, “You’re the man, King David.”

What does King David do?

Psalms  51  is  an  entire journal written  by  King  David  about what  he  did  after that conversation.    I’m not going to read the whole thing but let me read much of it and listen to what King David said,

Psalm 51:1–12 (NIV) – Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place. 7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

David surrendered.  He said, “Okay, God, forgive me from my sins.  No longer will I be a control freak.”

He surrendered the details to God.   He surrendered his kingdom, because, no telling what was going to happen. He surrendered his shame.  Doesn’t matter what anybody thinks, God.  I surrender my life to You.  David surrendered everything that he had, everything that he was to God.

I don’t know if you have ever seen a movie or watched a poker tournament on tv but if you have you have probably seen that guy who is wearing the glasses not to give away the face.  He’s the gut wearing all the bling.  Always trying to read everyone, figure out what everyone else is going to do.

Then there always seems to be the drama queen that guy that eventually pushes away from the table and paces back and forth questioning what to do next.

Another one at the table is the guy everybody seems to root for.  He’s the risk taker.  Seems to be quick to go all in.

So, here’s what I want to ask you today who are you at the table?

I know what your thinking I don’t play poker pastor, I’m not sitting at the table.  Ok let me ask it a different way which one do you most relate to.

Are you the guy that has a million chips sitting in front of them, and they say, “God, here’s what I’m going to give, I will be at church, I’ll put in my time but honestly I like seeing all the chips in front of me so I can control when and where to play them.  So, please don’t ask for too much more.

Or are you the guy that’s sitting at the table and you are trying to decide what you are going to do, and finally, you’ll stand up and pace back and forth wondering if the hand is worth the bet just to decide ya know what God, all the chips are mine.  I’ve been there before.  I’ve done the religious thing.  I’ve done church.  I’ve got hurt.  I’m finished,” and you walk away from the table.

Are you the guy that takes the risk, that says,  “Okay, God.  I will not control it any longer.  I am all in. Take it all.  Take my kids, take my job, take my life, take everything that I am. After all it’s in You I live and move and have my being,

If you truly want to lose control, you have to surrender your life.

So, one last question, Are you all in?